Piss off                                                                                                         20/5/2019

 

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I piss a lot and I sweat as much.

To avoid dehydration, I drink a lot.

 

Yes I try..

 

You see, I was struggling to plan for this show. Not knowing what to present. I often slept late and drank coffee all day to stay awake.

 

Last week at night; while in bed I had an epiphany, I remember the glory days of pissing. Piss-taking ways. A (?) mistaken phase. I was brought up in an English Boarding school and I remember vividly our hostel warden used to take us for an evening walk after a dinner. This was when I was 6-7 years old.

 

Me and a few boys we used to walk at the end of the pack. To entertain ourselves we used to take out our penises and we…went/would go like this (act) leaving behind  a trail.

 

Looking back...

 

My trip to Nepal last month made me think of “Kalu”. This dog my grandma owns - it’s only 3 and a half years old. And I realised he was chained up almost all day...next to the goats...in a shed. Why? I asked my grandma.

 

 Well, just a week prior, a dog had nearly killed a baby! and Kalu has been restless lately so as a caution he has been leashed.

 

Ahhhh… I thought:

 

I went up to him later that afternoon. He had seen me 3 years ago, but it was very brief encounter back then. I doubt he recognised me.  My young cousins and nephews only remembered me because of the sweets and gifts that I had brought them before. The last time I initiated the contact with my hand,  he sniffed while I stroked his neck, he began to jump around with excitement. I untied the leash and decided to take him for a walk.

 

Bouncing around he ran as I tried to maintain my control. He ran everywhere and after a pause, I watched him piss all on the stones, on the bushes, and against the tree with his dehydrated “yellow piss” I felt sorry from him..as we walked along the  gravel road that the village has waited more than a decade for.

 

Kalu leaped into a rice field while licking a few gulps of water he tried to run in-between. Hastily, I yanked him back. Naughty, naughty… no, Kalu, no… You can’t run into the rice field.

 

He looked back at me and continued to sniff and piss. After a brief inspection, I realised he had nothing to squirt...

Confused, he would raise his leg to a corner plant but even before completing the ritual he would run to a bigger tree across only to realise there was no liquid to spill...He would run back to the same corner and sniff baffled and this routine continued for a while.

 

I felt sorry …

Not because he couldn’t piss but because I knew this was all momentary. I am soon gone, and there will be no one to let him loose after.  The loitering days in the village is of past now. Everything is shackled, and while the village dreams of embellishing lights, Kalu yawns for piss.